The βHoly, Not Whoreβ Series Pt. 4: The Masculine That Was Lost
Most men were never taught what real power feels like. Only how to perform it.
In the first part of this series, we unpacked what happened to the feminine, how her power was suppressed, distorted, and rewritten. But the imbalance we see today didnβt just come from the loss of the feminine.
It also came from what was taken from men.
This isnβt about blaming or shaming men. Itβs about telling the truth.
Right now, many men and women are navigating life without real examples of healthy, grounded masculinity, not just in personal relationships, but in culture, religion, leadership, and family.
Men didnβt just wake up one day and decide to abandon their roles. The shift happened slowly, generation by generation, until manhood became something unrecognizable.
Before masculinity became tied to dominance, it was tied to responsibility. In many ancient cultures, men had to earn their roles. Authority wasnβt just given. You had to go through trials.
You had to face yourself before you could be trusted to lead others. Thatβs what built strength, character, and self awareness.
Thatβs what made a man divine.
In matriarchal cultures, women were the first initiators. A man had to be emotionally and spiritually prepared to enter her space. He had to be grounded, present, and in control of himself.
When that happened, it changed how he showed up in the world.
In Kemet (Ancient Egypt), the gods Osiris and Horus represented different aspects of divine masculinity. Osiris ruled the underworld with wisdom. Horus carried justice and protection. But neither stood alone. They were balanced by Isis, goddess of magic, healing, and divine authority.
In Sumer, the king Dumuzi ruled only as the consort of Inanna, the goddess of love, war, and transformation. His power was conditional. He had to die and be reborn. He had to submit to the feminine mysteries before he could lead.
Even Shiva, one of the central deities in Hinduism, is incomplete without Shakti. He is consciousness. She is energy. Together, they form creation itself.
In Yoruba culture, Orisha worship taught men that power wasnβt something you just had, it was something you had to respect. Obatala, a male deity of wisdom, peace, and purity, represented calm leadership, not impulsive control.
Across these traditions, masculinity was tied to accountability and initiation. But over time, that changed. And the truth is, men were misled.
Sold a version of power that disconnected them from their emotions, from women, and from their own humanity.
The Collapse: How The Masculine Was Rewritten
To dominate a people, you must not only suppress their feminine power, you must also redefine masculine identity to serve empire, not spirit.
The Roman Empire: was one of the first major systems to turn masculinity into a weapon. Under leaders like Augustus, manhood became defined by control, discipline, and domination. βReal menβ were expected to be warriors, landowners, and strict enforcers of Roman rule. There was no room for emotion, intuition, or softness, those qualities were seen as weak. The Roman paterfamilias model gave men total control over their households. Women and children werenβt seen as individuals, they were treated like property.
Early Christianity: By the 4th century CE, under Emperor Constantine, Christianity was adopted by the Roman Empire, and the balance between masculine and feminine was dismantled and replaced with strict hierarchy. God was recast as a singular male figure, and women were framed as dangerous, seductive, and spiritually inferior.
Figures like Tertullian, who called women βthe devilβs gatewayβ and Augustine, who claimed sex was sinful even within marriage, helped shape a belief rooted in fear and control.
This is where celibacy became institutionalized, as a way to separate men from their bodies, emotions, and natural desires.
βWhen power became about domination instead of discipline, men lost more than their connection to women. They lost connection to themselves.β
This didnβt just harm women. It damaged men, too, creating generation after generation of emotionally immature, spiritually disconnected men.
The psychological impact runs deep. Instead of processing their emotions, many men began projecting them outward through:
Violence.
Workaholism.
Addiction.
Emotional Numbness.
Sexual Dominance Or Complete Disinterest.
Carl Jung wrote about the βunconscious masculine shadowβ the parts of a manβs psyche that become destructive when theyβre ignored. When men arenβt taught how to feel, they act out. When theyβre punished for crying, they bottle it up until it turns to rage. When they donβt know who they are, they ghost, control, or shut down.
Women have felt this absence deeply, not just romantically, but systemically.
Women were left to raise families without emotional partnership.
Girls grew up without fathers who could mirror healthy masculinity.
Boys became men with no roadmap to balance or purpose.
This imbalance is still playing out. And itβs not sustainable.
Restoring the masculine doesnβt take away from the feminine, it strengthens her. When men are emotionally available, women donβt have to carry the emotional load alone.
Reclaiming The Divine Masculine
Itβs not about being perfect. Itβs about being responsible.
A healthy man knows how to hold space without needing to fix or control everything. He can hear someone say, βthat hurt me,β and not take it as an attack.
He doesnβt get defensive. He doesnβt shut down. He listens. He reflects. He owns his part without making it about him.
He sets boundaries without being cold. He shows strength without needing to overpower. He knows how to stay present, even when things get uncomfortable.
You see it in how he handles pressure. How he treats people he doesnβt need anything from. How he reacts when heβs told no. Thatβs healthy masculinity.
And that starts with work.
Inner Work: Facing childhood wounds, grief, and patterns.
Emotional Intelligence: Learning how to feel, communicate, and respond.
Discipline: Developing habits that create structure and accountability.
Healthy Relationships: With women, with other men, and with the earth.
Accountability: Owning past harm, not from shame, but from a willingness to grow.
Men were never meant to rule over us. They were meant to walk beside us.
And itβs time they remembered that, too.
β¨ Coming Up Next In The Series:
βWhen God Was A Womanβ β Merlin Stone
Groundbreaking history on how goddess worship was replaced with male dominated religions.βIron Johnβ β Robert Bly
Classic text on the wounded masculine and the journey back to embodied manhood.βKing, Warrior, Magician, Loverβ β Moore & Gillette
Explores the four masculine archetypes in mythology and psychology.βThe Way Of The Superior Manβ β David Deida
Popular (and sometimes controversial) framework for masculine/feminine dynamics.βMy Grandmotherβs Handsβ β Resmaa Menakem
Essential for understanding generational trauma in the body, especially male trauma in collective culture.
π Need To Vent? Get Advice?
My 1:1 girl chat sessions are for women who are done repeating patterns and ready to reclaim their voice, their power, and their peace.
Having read through this entire series, I appreciate your research, writing, and especially references given for further study.
I value mythology, ancient spirituality, and the ancient ways as a whole. As you can see in life, one is most powerful, innocent and pure as a child. Along the way, through childhood wounds, societal and parental programming, that potent mind gets silenced and covered in layers of ignorance.
This series gave me deeper insight as to why not only women but men must study the Divine Feminine. Especially, because being a man truly depends on his emotional intelligence, how the Feminine principle resides within him.
Thank you for your dedication to this series! ππΏ